he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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