you traded sex for a burrito?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
