my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
