Tell her she can't have a vagina
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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