I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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