Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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