I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just want nice things and good sex
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
