This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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