Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
