Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
