u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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