I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
