I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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