guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
