after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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