My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
