U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am mentally ready for anal.
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