So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
