Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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