And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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