She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
