I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
