she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
