toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
