Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
