I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
