Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Let's get the cat blown out
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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