question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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