I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Boobs speak an international language.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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