Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
