I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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