This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just cut my nipple shaving
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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