I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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