He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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