Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
