rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
