Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
