Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
