I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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