YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
