The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
