She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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