worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
