Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
