I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
