My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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