I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
