i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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