Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
