Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
