so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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