youre lurking in front of me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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